Dear Billie,

Today we’re celebrating your six week anniversary and seems I’m feeling a bit emotional. You were crying earlier and were not as easily comforted as you usually are (seriously, you’re such a sweet and happy baby) so I rocked you a bit and am sitting in the couch with you lying on my chest as I’m writing this. You’re literally looking up at me and I can see my own reflection in your eyes.

I wonder who you will be as you grow up. What will you look like? Who will you love? What will you become? At the same time I wonder what the world will look like and hope I did well bringing you into it. As little as you are right now, I already know I will love you (and your brother and sister) more than anything else in this world and I will move heaven and earth to keep you all safe. Parenting already proves to be very challenging (your siblings can be very high maintenance sometimes) and I’m constantly asking myself if I’m doing it right or if I’m ruining you forever.

To think you were growing inside of me for 9 months and that one day you will be a grown up yourself. Will I still see you as my little baby then? Part of me wants to hold on to the little baby you are now forever but I know that I will adore you at every age. My heart melts every time I see your brother and sister showering you with kisses, almost fighting to hold your little hands. But I’m also looking forward to your first steps, your first words, watching the 3 of you doing something mischievous, conspiring against your dad and me.

My promise to you? I’ll try not to spoil you which will be difficult since you’re so cute. I’ll try to give you the freedom to discover the world and let you make your own mistakes. I want to enourage you to find your own voice and dare to dream big, do what makes you happy but try not to wander too far…

Big kiss,

Mom -x-