…when the kids are fighting all the time (constantly wanting what the other has)

…when the kids are crying all the time (am I frustrated and mad because they’re giving me a hard time or are they giving me a hard time because I’m frustrated and mad?)

…when the kids are drawing on the furniture (apparently a two- and three-year old are not to be trusted with crayons…)

I would be a horrible stay-at-home mom! I’m currently home though (on pregnancy leave with my third baby) but my two other kids either go to school or daycare. I know some mothers don’t understand how you can send your kid to daycare when you’re not working…but I would probably have a nervous breakdown if I stayed home with the kids all the time. Or would I be able to deal with them better if they were constantly around? Be able to put things into perspective and to let go because I’d have to? Would they act different if I were around all the time? Would they actually listen to me? I don’t know…

All I know is that there are good days (when the kids are little angels) and there are bad days (when their sole purpose in life seems to be to drive me crazy) but I don’t think a day goes by without me sighing, rolling my eyes, and/or raising my voice (read: yelling). I want to believe that means I’m human and not necessarily a bad parent. I’m trying hard to be more patient and less controlling. Seeing yourself in your kids is obviously very confronting but it also makes me want to do better, be better.

When the two- and three-year old are together, they can be (a) sweet and cute, the envy of every parent, (b) fighting, and I do mean that they can be pysically violent (especially the two-year old), or (c) out of control, running around the house, completely ignoring and defying any adult interference, usually ending with at least one of them crying. These are just snapshots though and can be deceiving. None of them paint a very realistic picture of our family of five. We are not the Brady bunch, nor are we raising Dennis the menace. The truth is somewhere in between. Besides the occasional eye-rolling and voice raising, I have lots of good moments when I even want to pat myself on the back for being so patient and affectionate towards my children, even if I do say so myself. The same is true for my kids: when they’re not too busy trying to rattle my nerves, they are simply adorable, giving me lots of kisses, hugging me tightly, smiling their most beautiful smile, laughing out loud when I tickle them…and I know their heart’s in the right place. Thankfully they’re very forgiving of my impatience and mood swings, as am I of theirs. We kiss and make up all the time…